The start of our time in Addis was set up well for us by people who have been here before. We got here a couple days before we would start working with the kids and had a chance to get our feet under us and start to adjust to the Ethiopian culture. We could get a couple of nights sleep, adjust to jet lag, go to a local church on Sunday, and visit Korah (where several of the kids lived before coming to Bring Love In).
For me I’d say the first couple of days I oscillated between feeling like everything around me seemed surreal and then feeling very weak and inadequate (not feelings I enjoy very much). As I visited with our driver (who speaks excellent English) I realized how poor I am at understanding Ethiopian accents and how much I struggle to remove slang and words that make it hard for him and I to communicate. It took 5 minutes to understand each other in way that would take 30 seconds back home. I kept thinking how am I going to be able to understand the kids whose English is not nearly as strong as his. I feel weak and inadequate.
Later that day we went to Korah. A large community that literally lives in and around a huge dump. The sights, smells, feelings of hopelessness are beyond words. Experiencing it first hand was not what I expected. Everything felt almost not real – like I was watching it on TV but my brain knew it wasn’t as I smelt the smells and felt my stomach turn. It wasn’t until later that night, processing with the team, that my feelings started catching up to the experience and once again I felt so weak and inadequate.
If I’m honest I don’t feel this very often back home. There are so many ways to pivot and strategize and get back to a spot of at least perceived adequacy. But here that’s just not possible. We’ve gotten to meet with the kids the last couple days. There is so much hope, joy, and love in them that it is infectious and I am so thankful. The recognition of my weakness and inadequacy is still very much there but it’s mixed with all these little moments of: “Wow look at what God is doing there!”
One of the first boys I got to chat with explained to me that he wants to be a psychologist when he goes to university. As he unpacked why he calmly explained that he didn’t speak for 2 years when he first came to Bring Love In. He said he had all sorts of thoughts going on in his head but he didn’t want to tell anyone. Councilors and psychologists helped him learn he could start to speak again (even with just a couple words at a time). From there he continued to grow. He explained that there are so many kids like him around who people write off as either not mentally there or bad because they act out. I sat beside him slowly learning more and asking questions. Still feeling weak and inadequate but also in awe.
– Matt